I hate getting cut off when I’m driving.  Everyone does. I even get angry when I see a driver cut in front of a truck in the space the trucker has left in front of him to brake safely.

But I once read that if you imagine a good reason for why the other driver did what they did, you’ll feel better.  Maybe they are rushing to the hospital, or to be at the bedside of a dying loved one before they pass.  Maybe the person who cut me off is not a total bastard, but is trying to follow the rules of a serial killer in a Saw movie and had no choice.  Well, it’s true, it does make me feel a little better to give them some selfless excuse.

But what about those drivers in the fast lane that drive at the same speed as the slow lane traffic, people you can never pass?  What’s their excuse?  What can I tell myself to bring down my road rage?

I have the answer and this is my gift to you.

The slow driver in the left lane is driving straight to the lowest circle of hell.  These are their last moments on Earth before they are eternally damned and they want this time to stretch out as long as possible.  Would you deny them their final moments in the sun before they are damned for eternity?  By going slowly in the fast lane, they have figured out how to extend time interminably.  I feel pity for these poor souls.  Even if they weren’t damned before they drove slowly in the fast lane, they sure as f*ck are now.